Presumed Innocent
My oldest son is always innocent. Or so he'd have me believe.
He's generally a pretty good kid. Good grades. No real problems with the teachers. But his teachers have this system where they will give kids check marks for even the slightest of infractions. There's no detention or other kind of punishment unless the kid gets 10 in a quarter, and fortunately my son hasn't ever accumulated that many. In fact, the majority he received were during the first quarter when he and all the other fourth graders were trying to get used to changing classrooms. They'd have to collect 3 periods worth of books, folders, protractors, etc... from their locker with the understanding that they wouldn't be allowed back to reload until much later in the day. Inevitably he'd leave something behind. And then, when he got a check mark for it, he would report it to me at the end of the day with his infamous line,
"The teacher got me in trouble today for not having my Science book."
It's the teacher's fault? So he's not used to accountability yet.
I'd also hear about all the things other kids got check marks for. To hear him tell it, the teachers are really gunning for the boys. As always, I listen to what he says with a grain of salt. Frankly if the teachers are a little too strict at times with their check mark system, but it allows them able to keep their classrooms of 25 kids with Spring Fever under control, then more power to them! The kids get plenty of chances before getting a detention anyway, so no harm done. In general, I think teachers and schools are quite reasonable with their policies.
Although I'd have to disagree with the administration in the school that suspended one of their seniors for going to his girlfriend's prom. If a school was passing judgment on my kid for something like that, then I'd have to agree with the statement: "My teachers got me in trouble..."
But, situations like that notwithstanding, how to teach your kids accountability?!?
He's generally a pretty good kid. Good grades. No real problems with the teachers. But his teachers have this system where they will give kids check marks for even the slightest of infractions. There's no detention or other kind of punishment unless the kid gets 10 in a quarter, and fortunately my son hasn't ever accumulated that many. In fact, the majority he received were during the first quarter when he and all the other fourth graders were trying to get used to changing classrooms. They'd have to collect 3 periods worth of books, folders, protractors, etc... from their locker with the understanding that they wouldn't be allowed back to reload until much later in the day. Inevitably he'd leave something behind. And then, when he got a check mark for it, he would report it to me at the end of the day with his infamous line,
"The teacher got me in trouble today for not having my Science book."
It's the teacher's fault? So he's not used to accountability yet.
I'd also hear about all the things other kids got check marks for. To hear him tell it, the teachers are really gunning for the boys. As always, I listen to what he says with a grain of salt. Frankly if the teachers are a little too strict at times with their check mark system, but it allows them able to keep their classrooms of 25 kids with Spring Fever under control, then more power to them! The kids get plenty of chances before getting a detention anyway, so no harm done. In general, I think teachers and schools are quite reasonable with their policies.
Although I'd have to disagree with the administration in the school that suspended one of their seniors for going to his girlfriend's prom. If a school was passing judgment on my kid for something like that, then I'd have to agree with the statement: "My teachers got me in trouble..."
But, situations like that notwithstanding, how to teach your kids accountability?!?
Posted by Kris at 5/13/2009 6:59 AM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: prom presumed innocent accountability innocent got me in trouble suspended for going to girlfriend's prom ban on dancing
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: prom presumed innocent accountability innocent got me in trouble suspended for going to girlfriend's prom ban on dancing
Unfortunately, making a child accountable for their actions is what makes parents unpopular. Oh, sure, you can be the popular parent and close your eyes to things, but the GOOD parent has to deal with their unpopularity with their kids when they hold them to task. My daughter is the world's worst procrastinator. I am forever having to take something away from her because I've told her to do something, she responds she will, and then it never gets done. Then, when I say she can't go somewhere with her friends because she didn't live up to her end of the bargain, then I'm the mean one! However, the next time, she will get right on whatever project has been assigned. I don't like having to be "mean", but how will she ever learn responsibility if I don't hold her to her end of the bargain? I believe this is something most good parents struggle with - accountibility. But, it's one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to their child. After all, the world isn't going to indulge them!!
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Teaching accountability turns out to be one of those things that sounds easier than it is... first, we have to walk the walk and demonstrate accountability for our own actions. And Cathy makes a great point too about consistent, age appropriate consequences. Parenting is SO not for the weak of heart! But it sounds like you are raising some great kids, Kris! The stories about them are often humorous but truly show their good nature.
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